It is with my deepest honour to introduce my very best friend and first-time mum, Charlotte, to the Wholesome Seed! Charlotte and I met when I first moved to Sydney, over 10 years ago now. We were brought together by mutual friends and the rest is history. We have been best friends/soul sisters ever since! We were both living in Sydney as ex-pats so instantly became family away from family. There is a different bond you share with someone when they understand what it’s like living away from family. She genuinely is like a sister to me, and I am forever grateful for our special bond. No matter the distance, we are always there for each other. Charlotte recently welcomed her first baby, Clementine, and shares her story on her journey having PCOS, endometriosis, getting pregnant, and opens up about her hard labour and delivery.
Without further adieu, please welcome Charlotte.
Introduce yourself to The Wholesome Seed community!
I’m Charlotte or Lottie, as my friends like to call me! I’m 32 years old and live with my beautiful little family, husband Dane and daughter Clementine, in rural West Sussex, England. I would describe myself as being open, honest, caring, spontaneous, and a bit of a risk-taker. I love intellectual conversations and truly stand my ground for what I believe in. I’m not afraid of a challenge or change. Someone once described my husband and me as buffalo. Apparently, they run into the eye of a storm rather than around it, like most other animals. I see that as a positive!
Being half Dutch and half English, with family dotted all over the world, I have always loved adventure and exploring and absolutely detest everyday routine and the mundane. I live with my head in the clouds and my heart on my sleeve. What you see is what you get, which sometimes gets me in a little trouble (this could be the Dutch in me) but I’m always there to fight for what I believe is right and protect and look out for those that I love. To me, family and friends are everything and there is nothing I love more than gathering around the kitchen table and sharing food, laughs and ideas.
My favourite things to do are early morning runs (especially before the rest of the world is awake and is my favourite way to explore a new location), walks along the beach, eating and travelling. Over the years, I have lived in France, Italy, Holland, England and Australia and I plan to live in and see many more countries before the end of my days. It’s what educates and excites me. I met my husband, Dane at La Tomatina in Spain before following him back to Sydney, where I lived for 8 years. Just before the pandemic, we were due to set off on a huge adventure around the world for 6 months but thanks to Covid, that was cancelled so we returned to the UK to be near my family and friends and to keep trying for a baby. We lived in Battersea, London, and then moved to the beautiful countryside of West Sussex, closer to my family. We are now proud parents of the adorable Clementine, who is 9 months old and plan to move to Byron Bay, Australia next year.
You recently welcomed your first baby, how are things going?
Well, I always say to anyone that asks that parenthood is the best but hardest job in the world. It’s been such a journey to get to this point, especially with my health and difficult birth, so the first three months of motherhood were tough and a bit of a blur. Juggling a newborn and sleep deprivation, recovering from birth (4 months total), moving house, entertaining a constant stream of visitors and then connecting with this crazy but wonderful new stage of your life, whilst saying goodbye to your old lifestyle and previous relationship dynamic is a LOT for one person to process.
I am now in such a different place, physically and mentally. I am back to full health and truly loving being a mother. Clementine is so much fun and such a relaxed baby, so I’m feeling very lucky and adore spending time with her and going on adventures together and helping her to discover new things, especially the great outdoors.
Can you share with us your journey with PCOS and Endometriosis & falling pregnant?
I found out that I had PCOS at 14 years old after experiencing heavy and painful periods, as well as bad skin, and mood swings. I was put on the pill, which masked all the symptoms and what I thought “fixed” the problems. Then later in life, after experiencing years of excruciating intermittent pain that would leave me curled up in a ball, feeling like I wanted to throw up, they finally diagnosed me with endometriosis. This was after years of visits to the doctors and being ignored or told there was not much that can be done even if I were diagnosed with it. After fighting for the diagnosis, I could then make informed decisions and seek the help that I needed to help control both my PCOS symptoms and undergo surgery to remove the endometriosis. I was determined to do this all as naturally as possible, so spent a lot of my time focusing on my diet and lifestyle choices and seeing the most amazing naturopath that prescribed me herbal medicine that worked wonders for my acne and hair loss. In time, my periods became regular, my skin clearer, my moods better, and the hair that I was losing grew back.
Moving back to the UK was the last piece of the puzzle in falling pregnant. I felt truly happy and relaxed to be near my family and friends again. I had mentally prepared myself after 18 months of trying that there was a strong possibility we may not fall pregnant naturally and I had accepted that. I had just accepted a career-driven job in a senior management role in Mayfair and had been looking forward to a year or two of fun with my husband in Central London to find out that I was pregnant after a trip to the doctor for cramping pains I thought was my endometriosis returning; it was a very total shock to be told I was pregnant! A whole mix of emotions – shock, panic, happiness and an overwhelming sense of relief.
How was your birth?
Empowering but tough. I had done a lot of work beforehand to mentally and physically prepare myself for birth. I had completed a hypnobirthing course and was excited about the challenge of labour and meeting our little miracle baby.
However, the reality of it (much like they teach you in the hypnobirthing courses) is that, whilst I had my birth preferences, it didn’t go as planned. I was two weeks overdue with a baby that was tracking pretty big. I was adamant that I didn’t want to be induced and that our baby would enter the world when they were ready. I still don’t regret that decision. Although, what this meant was that I had to be monitored but more carefully in the early stages of labour and wasn’t allowed to go home at first after my initial checks. Eventually, after 8 hours of monitoring in an induction ward, I persuaded them to let me go home until I was dilated enough so that my labour could progress quicker and in the comforts of my home, where I felt safe and relaxed. Within a few hours of being home and after a bath and listening to my birthing playlist, my labour had progressed enough to go back to the hospital. If we weren’t living in a flat in central London surrounded by neighbours, I would have opted for a home birth, but I didn’t want to alarm the neighbours if there was any intense moaning or yelling!
I had wanted a natural water birth with no interventions, but after 17 hours of natural labour, we discovered Clemmie was back to back. This explained the excruciating back pain I was experiencing. With back-to-back births, you have the intense need to push with every contraction, which meant because my body wasn’t ready, my cervix began to close. This meant goodbye to my natural birth, as they recommended me an epidural to stop me from feeling the contractions and the need to push. Unfortunately, that then slowed down my contractions, so they then gave me the hormonal drip to speed them up. Clementine was expected to arrive within a couple of hours of those drugs but she had a mind of her own and then tilted her head up so got stuck in the birth canal and had to be helped with a ventouse (which failed) followed by forceps and an episiotomy!
At the time, I was just focused on the safe arrival of our baby and after 36 hours of labouring with no sleep; I was totally exhausted. It took a long time after the birth to process it all and understand what had happened and why. There’s definitely some trauma associated with that. The aftercare was pretty awful in the hospital and I felt ignored and like a number rather than a person. I was discharged, not knowing the extent of how to look after myself or what my body was going through.
After an episiotomy infection, womb infection and 2 months of bleeding and feeling totally fatigued and unwell, I discovered that I had retained placenta, so then had to undergo two surgeries to have it removed. The hospital was aware of this when they delivered Clementine, so my faith in the public healthcare system in the UK, unfortunately, has completely been destroyed. The surgeries came with new recovery periods, so it was only 6 months after birth that I really felt like my old self again with more energy and feeling content.
Despite all my experience, I will eventually when I feel ready and if I can, have another baby. And I will try again naturally. When I look back, I felt empowered and happy when in labour in the early stages and before the interventions and problems. I had an amazing pregnancy, and it truly was one of my happiest times. As a couple, it’s such a special experience, and we didn’t take that for granted. I’m incredibly lucky to have the most supportive husband who is the most fantastic father to our baby.
Tell us about your breastfeeding journey and your experience with mouth and nipple thrush.
I had a very rocky start to breastfeeding. Unfortunately, because of the antibiotics that they prescribed me for an infection, this gave me and Clemmie thrush. Nipple and mouth thrush, something I had never heard of before! It was a constant battle of medication, changing bras and washing after each feed and washing everything my skin came into contact with. It was exhausting. We tried the medications that the doctors prescribed but when one would clear, the other would come back. Like a very unfunny game of tennis. The best remedy we tried was a natural one, which was a bath with apple cider vinegar and coconut oil! We tried baking soda too. We then stopped breastfeeding until it cleared up, which took a month. That meant pumping every 2-3 hours for a month. So much work, but so worth it when it had cleared and I could feed again. The breastfeeding bond is so special between a nursing mother and her baby; it allowed us to slow down, connect and enjoy each other’s company after a rocky start. Next stop… because Clemmie’s gas continued, and the discomfort associated with that, we saw a milk lactation consultant. Best money I have ever spent. Seriously. I was ready to stop feeding as I had been told by so many “it must be a reaction to your breast milk and what you are eating”. *Queue instant mum guilt.* Even doctors told me she would be better off on formula. Within 5 minutes of the lactation consultant sitting down with us and me explaining all the issues, she confirmed for me that Clemmie was tongue-tied. Something I had asked the doctors to check when she was born and then midwives and health visitors in follow-up visits. I was told at the time she was fine but turns out they were wrong. An interesting fact for everyone, your diet does not affect a baby that much, so there was no need for me to give up all the healthy “but gassy” food that nourishes my body and that I enjoy. We had Clemmie’s tongue snipped by a wonderful tongue tie practitioner/midwife and everything improved almost instantly.
Clementine was diagnosed with torticollis, can you tell us about that?
The last hurdle we faced was Torticollis. Torticollis is a condition where the head is tilted to one side and the chin is turned to the opposite side, resulting in difficulty moving the head in all directions. This is caused by the contraction or shortening of neck muscles, which can be congenital or acquired. Because of the difficult birth, I got Clemmie checked over privately by an osteopath. She was absolutely fantastic and helped soothe Clemmie’s digestive symptoms, and it was there that they picked up that she had Torticollis. Since then we have had weekly visits to the osteopath who also recommended physiotherapy, so we have fortnightly physio visits too. Again, all of this was overlooked by the traditional doctors. It is slowly improving, however, it may require more help later on if the physio doesn’t correct the positioning. The Torticollis may have been caused by Clemmie’s positioning prior to birth, the forceps delivery or getting stuck in the birth canal. Looking back at baby photos now, it was really obvious and something I am now aware of for any future children. After pushing for further investigations for Clemmie’s head and skull formation, we found out that she also had Chiari malformation, which was an incidental finding and could be totally asymptomatic, but we are investigating further with the hospital. Hopefully, nothing to worry about. Whilst all the above might sound like A LOT and doom and gloom, the message I want to get across is simple. Trust your motherly instincts, trust nature, give natural remedies a go, and get yourself and your baby to an osteopath post-labour. You won’t regret it. Raising a baby can be a challenge, but it can also be the greatest gift of all.
What’s the most unexpected thing about motherhood?
It would probably be that even when you are feeling your lowest or most exhausted, you find the energy to show up and take care of your baby. To function off so little sleep, be in pain yourself and give up almost everything you know for this tiny being and to do it so happily is truly incredible and shows you the meaning of true love and one of the strongest bonds you will ever know. The need you feel to protect and love them only grows stronger each day.
Best piece of advice you have received since being a mum.
I was lucky to have close friends that had already had babies who were very supportive and offered lots of advice in the early days.
The first bit of advice was that it’s ok not to feel ok and over the moon the whole time. I found after birth that even when you are surrounded by loved ones and with your baby 24/7, it can feel lonely and you can feel a little lost. This gets easier over time and don’t be ashamed to reach out and communicate this to your friends and family. It’s ok not to feel happy the whole time and to admit your struggles or mourn your old lifestyle. Sometimes people assume that because you have a baby, you have changed and you may be excluded a little from some things, and that’s tough. You also go through so many life and hormonal changes all at once. It’s a lot some days!!
The second piece of advice was to rest and to take the first few days or weeks to truly enjoy your new baby with just your husband and any other siblings. Don’t worry about the untidy house, entertaining visitors, or the pile of washing or unwashed dishes and just lap up that time with your baby being cosy and rest. This is an invaluable time and I wish I had done that sooner. You will remember that time far more than the unwashed clothes on the floor. Interact with your baby, hold them and enjoy it.
Finally, nurture yourself. My beautiful friend Jess really tried to instil this into me in the early days. She turned up with homemade broths, teas, and herbal remedies to help me with my recovery. My sister Emmelina also did this with juices and soups etc as well as my best friend Alice who I rang up crying one day to finally accept the offer of a home-cooked meal. It’s easy when you have given birth to go for junk food when you feel exhausted and don’t have time to make a delicious meal, and it’s also easy to feel the need to turn down help when offered. Your body will love you for choosing a healthy option, as will your hormones when they are trying to get back on track. For me, this is especially important with PCOS and it makes it less of a struggle to get back to your former lifestyle and diet. Prepare a freezer of nutritious food before birth and ask friends to drop over home-cooked healthy meals if they ever offer you any help. Also, get out and try to get some fresh air and gentle exercise each day. It works wonders for the mind and body!
