Bianca and I met in high school, and oddly enough, we didn’t connect until we were preparing to graduate. In fact, we got so close in such a short amount of time we went to graduation together! Since we have known each other, we have been through it all, breakups, her beautiful wedding to her high school sweetheart, our miscarriages, the birth of our boys and all the growing pains you could imagine since our youth. We have had lots of ups and downs, but no matter what, we are always there for each other.
She has grown so much since I have known her. Through her pregnancy losses to the birth of her beautiful boys, she has flourished into an incredibly strong and inspiring mama.
With that, get to know my dear friend, and ultimate yoga mama, Bianca.
Introduce yourself to The Wholesome Seed Community
Hello, I am Bianca. I have the deepest honor of being a mama to two beautiful boys. My initiation into motherhood wasn’t easy, but I have found this role to be deeply sacred. I am an intuitively guided light worker and an energy healer working under the modalities of Reiki and Yoga.
You say your initiation into motherhood wasn’t easy. Can you share your experience?
I wanted to be a mom my whole life and because of that, I thought motherhood would come to me naturally, that I would just… get it.
I was naïve about how hard it was going to be. No one prepared me for the demand it would take on me. Yes, you hear you’re never going to sleep again, but no one tells you that your whole life gets flipped upside down. My first son turns six on January 12th, and 6 years ago there was a lot less conversation going on about motherhood. I would speak to the struggles I was having, and I had so many mom friends reach out and relate, but before I spoke about it, I felt so alone. Like I was the only mom who couldn’t get my baby to stop crying, I was the only one who had a baby who wouldn’t take a bottle, who wouldn’t nap unless I was holding him and a baby who wouldn’t sleep through the night. I felt like I was doing everything “wrong” because of what I was looking at on Instagram.
All these moms appeared to have it so together. I couldn’t fathom how they were going through their day with such ease when I’m over here just trying to survive. But when I started talking about my struggles, that’s when I found my community of mama friends, when I gained the awareness that being a mama is hard. And, that it didn’t mean I was doing anything wrong. It reminded me I was not alone. American society focuses on pregnancy and birth, and there is barely any information on the fourth trimester. In fact, with my first, I had never even heard about the fourth trimester!! There is such a lack of support for mamas once the baby is born, and that was really clear to me and made my initiation into motherhood difficult. But I believe people are filling that space now, just like the work you’re doing here on The Wholesome Seed! It’s why I choose to work with mamas one on one. I’ll say it repeatedly: we aren’t meant to do this alone.
You are a yoga instructor and reiki healer. Can you share some daily tips that moms can incorporate into their routines for self-care?
In the words of my coach, Donna Bond, “Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.” But seriously, meditate! Give yourself space for quietness, a space where you can calm the noise. The world has taught us to look outside ourselves so that we have lost touch with our own intuition. Everything we need is inside. And the way back to that is through mediation. I have found it to be the easiest way to get in touch with your intuition, God, Spirit, the Universe, or whatever higher power you connect to. I believe meditation is an essential practice for all mamas.
You hold a monthly full moon gathering. What does it entail, and why is this ritual so important to you and the women who are a part of it?
It’s a small, intimate gathering with my closest girlfriends. Each month we meet under the full moon at my home. I guide us through sacred rituals and ceremonies that offer a safe space for healing and honesty. This monthly gathering has become vital for my well-being. It’s so easy to lose ourselves in motherhood and hosting this each month is a reminder that I am so much more than just a “mom.” And I think it’s important for our children to see us doing things other than just “mom’ing”. Mom guilt is real, and it’s easy to use that as an excuse to ignore our own desires.
This is my little nudge to you- to find an activity, hobby, dance class, or something that is all your own and watch how it ignites your soul!
What wisdom have you learned from yoga that helps you parent your two young boys?
To be present. Yoga is all about committing your presence to your practice- so when you’re on the mat, all of you are on your mat. Your mind, body, thoughts and awareness are right there, too. It’s so easy to get caught up in everything that comes with being a mama that you can forget the sacredness it offers, too. If my mind is off thinking about the grocery list, t-ball practice, or the laundry that’s still sitting on the chair (you know, the one in your room that you promised yourself you wouldn’t pile clothes on!) I might miss the sweet little hug my son gave me out of nowhere, or the giggling coming from the boys playing together. Your presence is the greatest gift you can give your child and yourself.
What is your favourite resource for moms?
Community. And I encourage you to find yours. Find your mom friends that get you. That can hold space without judgment while you vent your day away. That you can find a quick recipe when you’re out of ideas, that you can text when you need advice. It is one of my deepest truths that we weren’t meant to do this alone. Find your friends that remind you that you aren’t!
What advice do you have for moms wanting to raise wholesome kids?
Trust yourself and listen to your intuition. NO ONE knows how to be a mama to your child the way YOU do. No book, blog, podcast, or article can tell you what your intuition will so trust it.
